God, guns and... that's it.

Texans should invent a Bible that shoots bullets, if they haven't already.  Texan Robert Rodriguez could put something together in a jiffy, I'm sure.

What the Hell Has Happened to Texas?

By Robert L. Cavnar

March 8, 2013 | Huffington Post

URL: http://huff.to/ZyaZ1m

Mourdock, rape and the Book of Job

Before I tell you why, let me quote two whole paragraphs from a rape apologist's apologist's blog post:

Bigger picture now: The essence of religious monotheism is that everything comes from one God, which naturally leaves humans befuddled when “Bad things happen to good people.” The faithful nevertheless persevere in their faith, believing that God is unknowable to human minds. This is the essence, for example, of the Book of Job, which I felt compelled to reread this afternoon. (It is a deeply disturbing story precisely because it raises these fundamental issues about the nature of God, good and evil, etc.) Suffice it to say the last place to delve into these matters is a U.S. Senate debate two weeks before the election.

No one has to believe this. Many people don’t. That is why it is better left out of political campaigns. (Repeat: [Richard] Mourdock will and should pay a price for this.) But Mourdock does believe this. No one who knows him or has interviewed him doubts that he’s a sincerely religious person. He was not expressing a lack of sympathy with rape victims (hence the term “horrible situation”).

And here is what Mourdock said in his own defense, clarifying his initial statement:

“God creates life, and that was my point. God does not want rape, and by no means was I suggesting that He does. Rape is a horrible thing, and for anyone to twist my words otherwise is absurd and sick.”

But actually I don't want to talk about rape.  I want to talk about religion.

For me, what Indiana Republican Richard Mourdock said is important not because it reveals his true beliefs about rape or abortion -- why we continue to be "shocked" or "outraged" when knuckle-dragging fundamentalist Republicans admit to believing what we already know they believe is beyond me -- but because Mourdock's moment of honesty reveals the absurdity of believing that God decides what happens in our lives, and then praising God for pulling our puppet strings.

Mourdock should be getting dinged for saying something really philosophically stupid and self-serving, which was that: God doesn't intend for rape to happen, but if a rape does happen and it results in pregnancy, God does intend that to happen, and for the rape victim to carry that rapist's fetus to term.  Because life is precious, or something.

Let me make that real simple.  Rape = not God's fault.  Innocent life = God's plan.  See how God wiggled out of that one?  Pretty slick, huh?  

Moreover, people like Mourdock are the first to go Tebowing the instant anything good happens in their lives.  But when something bad happens?  It's because somebody sinned against God. Or, as Jennifer Rubin says above about evil, God's mind is "unknowable." That's just another double standard, I'm sorry. That's not even an attempt at theodicy, it's just an intellectual shrug of the shoulders.  We are letting God off way too easy here.  If God made us in His image then certainly He didn't intend for us to be so dumb.

Ms. Rubin also mentions the Book of Job in defending Mourdock, and, well, God. That's a funny choice. That's the one where Satan makes a bet with God that he can make holy Job curse God's name if Satan makes Job suffer enough.  God takes Satan's bet and gives him permission to put Job and his family through the wringer.  

Now, if you are a fundamentalist who believes that the Bible is God's word, then there is nothing "unknowable" about God's intentions in the story of Job.  It's written quite clearly and simply.  God made a wager with the devil and let one of his most devout children be tortured and played with to prove a point.  Job's friends, meanwhile, come to the very modern-Evangelical conclusion that Job must have sinned terribly against God to have earned so many creative torments, one after another.  That was just salt in Job's God-inflicted wounds.  Then toward the end of Job, God's voice rings out from the heavens and says Job isn't a sinner.  And God defends himself by telling Job and his accusers how hard His job is, and how men really aren't qualified to question His decisions.  Get over it, in other words.  

The dramatic irony in all of it is that only the reader knows about God's bet with Satan.  Job remains clueless to the end that he was celestially punked.

Overall, Job is a great story.  It's one you'll want to tell your kids before bed, again and again, so the next time they say, "Why should I?" you can answer, "Because you're too stupid to understand why, so just do what I say."  Which is pretty much what religious conservatives believe parents should tell their children, and what they think CEOs and Republican Presidents should tell us adults.  

This is all a long way for me to say: the next time somebody says, "It was God's will," or "Thank God for your blessings," or "The Lord works in mysterious ways," you'll know that person is either dumb or full of shit. 

UPDATE: The Eds. at conservative National Review thought Mourdock's absolute pro-life stance needed their special defense.  But for the record, I'm not arguing the pro-life question in my post; I'm arguing about what is really God's fault, and how do believers explain evil in the world, like rape.  Or how something "good" (an innocent baby) could come from something bad (rape), and at what point in that chain of events is God involved or not involved.  Mourdock was just my launchpad into that discussion, which I find much more interesting and fundamental.

If you believe that great good can come from evil, then you are less likely to want government to help the poor and suffering among us, because, hey, it's all part of God's plan for them... or for their kids, or somebody three generations down the line.  Their suffering makes no sense and seems pointless to us, but it does make sense to Him, and that's all that matters.  --> That kind of attitude is a logical extension of what Mourdock, et al believe about God and evil.   

And that's why they must be exposed and opposed. Because their backwards thank/blame-God-for-everything attitude harms all of us.

Fundamentalists the same everywhere?

You know, if you replace the words "God" and "Jesus Christ" in these people's quotes with "Allah" then they sound just like the Muslim Brotherhood.  Just for fun, I've taken some quotes from this story to show you what I mean:

One indignant worshiper raised his voice, and demanded to know: “Am I trying to start a revolution?  The answer is ‘yes’,” he continued. “I’m not trying to get our guns to march on Washington, but we need to do two things: Get on our knees … and spread the Koran to our fellow men.”

Others responded with: “If we don’t do something now ... We need to get over our fear”, as well as a warning that “America is gonna have Allah coming after her”.

In a chaotic group discussion, I was repeatedly bombarded with a chorus of: “The only answer is Allah."

Brother Jerry said the value of the dollar was affecting his retirement savings, before reaffirming, “We’re fundamental Muslims, and Allah is in control of the economy."

Kevin, a telecom installer, then explained, “When we push Allah aside, he curses the economy. The whole world is suffering because we’ve been disobedient to Allah.”

“When we all get right with Allah, then the economy is gonna be fixed, the country is gonna be fixed, and the world is gonna be fixed.”

"I’m going to vote for Mitt Romney," Kevin said. "But the answer is not Democrat or Republican - it’s Allah.”

Gee, I guess Bible-thumping American fundamentalists aren't that different than religious fundamentalists anywhere else.

P.S. -- But seriously though, the answer really is Allah.

Arkansas voters 'praying for' US president

By Ben Piven

October 10, 2012 | Al Jazeera

URL: http://blogs.aljazeera.com/blog/americas/arkansas-voters-praying-us-president-0

KY: Raiders of the Lost Park

Two Tennessee cities didn't see any financial sense in building a Bible Park, but doggoneit, that's not going to stop Kentucky from encountering an Ark!

Who needs financial sense when you've got horse sense and Yahweh as your pitchman? $37 million in state support shall be done. God shall provide! (Philippians 4:19).

(With the benefit of 4,000 to 10,000 years of hindsight, it's amazing to think the original Ark even got off the ground without a generous subsidy, municipal bond, or at least a greenfield industrial park. It truly was a miracle!)

Biblical Theme Park Plans May Meet Different Fates In Kentucky, Tennessee

By Nick Wing

January 10, 2011 | Huffington Post

URL: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/10/kentucky-ark-encounter-park_n_806734.html