Sunday, February 6, 2011
The real CSI aint smart or cool
Turn off the flashlight and turn on a light bulb, for crying out loud!
Finally, facts to validate my suspicions! I really don't like all those shows like CSI, Bones, etc. First, because they're awfully morbid. To my wife, a fan of all of them, I call these shows, collectively, "Corpses," because that's pretty much how every episode begins, with some grisly murder and how the corpse is discovered.
My second beef with these shows is how much freaking time and resources all these super-genius, super-cool, beautiful people spend investigating every murder. I realize it's TV, but... come on! We've all seen cops. They're not like that. I don't care what city or country you live in, they're all pretty much the same. And no police dept. has the budget to devote a crack team of 5-10 beautiful genius's time solving every murder. Moreover, I'm sure real-life CSI types are nerds who don't haunt dim, ultra-high-tech crime labs sporting Armani, spiky hair and tons of attitude as they do boring forensic work. "Turn a light on, for crapsakes!" I want to shout at the tube.
One of my favorite parts of these shows to hate is when they have to show some actual forensic work: they turn this otherwise BO-ring science stuff into a techno-music montage scene with lots of flash editing so that us slobs on the couch don't fall asleep watching stuff like spinning blood centrifuges.
Anyway, like I said, it's always nice to have my pop-culture biases validated by investigative journalists. Give me Quincy M.E. any day!
Here's the good news: in real life, if you're a murderer, there's a real good chance you'll get away with it. You don't have to commit the perfect crime just to outsmart the quirky cop who loves bugs or the sullen redhead who won't take off his sunglasses. The bad news is, if you're innocent, you might get stuck with the rap.
The Real CSI: How America's Patchwork System of Death Investigations Puts the Living At Risk
An examination of the nation's 2,300 coroner and medical examiner offices reveals a troubled system that literally buries its mistakes.
By A.C. Thompson and Mosi Secret and Lowell Bergman and Sandra Bartlett
February 2, 2011 Alternet