Goldman Sa -- er, the SEC names kid in his 20s to oversee Goldman Sachs

SEC's new enforcement COO Adam Storch: "Gee, um, mind if I audit you, sir? Can I? Can I? Pleeease?"

Jesus, these guys have big brass ones! They don't even try to hide it when they're putting in the fix. The SEC, which is run by Goldman Sachs, hired some snot-nosed, starry-eyed kid from Goldman Sachs to regulate Goldman Sachs. I'm sure his, um, 5 (?) years of work experience and that summer internship have amply prepared him for taking responsibility for enforcing securities regulations for the world's largest economy. To borrow a phrase from Garfield: Aaaaaarrrrgh!!!

Why didn't they just hire Goldman CEO Llody Blankfein's secretary and make this anal intrusion on U.S. taxpayers a total public "Thanks for letting us cornhole you, America" greeting card?

This is the most ridiculous freaking thing I have read in ages. And that's including The Baby Who Could Fly or whatever the top story was today on FOXNews.com.

I'm so mad I accidentally spat on my computer screen. And it's not even my computer.


SEC Names Goldman's Storch as Enforcement Unit Operations Chief

By Joshua Gallu

October 16, 2009 | Bloomberg

The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission named Adam Storch, a 29-year-old from Goldman Sachs Group Inc.'s business intelligence unit, as the enforcement division's first chief operating officer.

Storch, who joined the SEC Oct. 13, was named to the newly created post of managing executive in the enforcement unit, charged with making the division more efficient, the SEC said today in a statement. At New York-based Goldman Sachs, he had worked since 2004 in a unit at that reviewed contracts and transactions for signs of fraud.

"Adam's skill in technology systems, workflow process, and project management will greatly benefit the division," SEC enforcement chief Robert Khuzami said in the statement. "He will help to make us more efficient and nimble and permit us to put more of our investigators on the front lines."

[Here's your first project, Adam: The Throw Ex-Boss In Jail Project. Can you "manage" that? - J]

Khuzami announced the position in August as part of the unit's biggest overhaul in three decades. He is taking steps to add investigators, speed inquiries and create specialized units after the agency was faulted for missing Bernard Madoff's $65 billion fraud.

Storch holds degrees in accounting and finance from the State University of New York at Buffalo and studied at New York University's Leonard N. Stern School of Business. He has certifications in accounting, fraud examination and auditing.

Before joining Goldman Sachs, Storch was a senior analyst at accounting firm Deloitte & Touche and an intern at Neuberger Berman LLC, a New York-based asset management firm.

[See, he was a "senior" analyst at DTT when he was only in his 20s! (Jimbo/Keanu Reeves voice): Dude, check it out, this guy's like waaaay qualified!!! - J]

Khuzami has created specialty units of investigators and is giving people more incentive to cooperate with investigations. The five groups will investigate cases in asset management, structured products, municipal securities and public pensions, foreign corrupt practices and market abuse, Khuzami said in an Aug. 5 a speech in New York.